There’s no denying it, Twitter is major in our lives (let’s casually ignore reports that it’s failing). Users have 140 characters for comedy gold, tragedy or a good ol’ fashioned moan. Users took to the platform to confess exactly why they can’t let it go and we’ve gathered some of the best examples:
1. Because we all kinda suck at being humans
Because sometime it's comforting to know that you're not the only one who hasn't figured this life thing yet.
— Karabo Mokgoko (@Karabo_Mokgoko) August 1, 2016
2. Because it is a strange and wondrous place
— Sexy Ben (@browland1) August 1, 2016
3. Because we get to keep our faces the same shape
Because if I was a troll out in the real world someone would break my nose. #WhyICantLeaveTwitter
— Kodi Gaddis (@KodiGaddis) August 1, 2016
4. We’re typing into the void but it’s satisfying as hell
I'm not ready to know what silence sounds like. #WhyICantLeaveTwitter
— ramel (@itsRamel) August 1, 2016
5. Twitter is there to be a shoulder to cry on when nobody else cares
#WhyICantLeaveTwitter because facebook doesn't know that I fangirl
and on here I don't get judged for fangirling
— Ruthyxx (@pop_ruth) August 1, 2016
To be fair, Tumblr also exists and is well-prepared for your mental breakdowns when bands split up and shows get cancelled.
6. Still just shouting into that void…
7. Other social media can’t meet such specific needs
#WhyICantLeaveTwitter because it's deemed socially unacceptable to post 100 statuses a day on Facebook, & I'm too ugly for Instagram.
— Jesus Shuttlesworth (@A_A_Ron_Rodgers) August 1, 2016
Thanks for not judging me for 20 updates in a day. All of them about choosing lunch.
8. It saves your neighbours
#WhyICantLeaveTwitter what's the alternative, leaning out the window and shouting my random thoughts???
— I, Slartibartfast (@Slarty247) August 1, 2016
From experience, doing this is not a good idea. No matter how long the internet has been down for.
9. our attention span definitely has shorter limit
#WhyICantLeaveTwitter I've lost the ability to think in anything larger than 140-character bursts. I'd never survive in the wild.
— Oonagh (@Okeating) August 1, 2016
Hopefully this is not actually true for you. Or you’ve tried to condense the meaning of life to a couple of sentences. Perhaps just one. Netflix and chill.
#WhyICantLeaveTwitter Brexit is difficult enough without me having to Twexit as well
— Richard Pulsford (@RichardPulsford) August 1, 2016
11. Because this may be an actual valid point
Are we allowed to? I never read the Terms & Conditions!
— Monday Mayhem (@monday_mayhem) August 1, 2016
Has anyone ever read them? Can you confirm if the only way out is death?
12. Because this is all of our dreams
Any day now, I expect to start getting paid for this
— Belladonna (@CzexanCzich) August 1, 2016
13. Because this is also totally true
#WhyICantLeaveTwitter what if I'm not here when tweeting about stuff actually brings about world peace?
— Sci-Fi Gene (@scifigene) August 1, 2016
If they start writing down usernames of all people responsible for world peace, don’t you want @BenandJerryAreBaes* to be in there?
*I have not checked if that is someone’s username
14. Because this is so totally true don’t test it
In real life, complete strangers *really* don't like suddenly talking about anal
— Shedlon Wortlebucket (@EzBloke) August 1, 2016
15. Because it is saving us all from the cost of a failed business
Every time I thought of a pun I'd have to open a fish & chip shop
— SadfaceOtter (@SadFaceOtter) August 1, 2016
16. because there has never been a truer word spoken/ typed
17. Because, sadly, none of us are Jesus
But if you have more than 12 followers you’ve already got him beat.
18. Because it does have some seriously good uses
#WhyICantLeaveTwitter there's not a good free speech platform that works on all devices.
— Ryan (@hypernova132MC) August 1, 2016
A bit of a serious note to end on but it’s a nice point to remember. Please stay around for a little longer, Twitter. You are so excellent for wasting time.